Adoption Update: In the 'Baby Pool!'

We were both so freaked out this morning before our visit with our adoption agency to hand in our birthparent letter & album, to sign the agreement, and pay $1/4 of the basic fees.

Ken rarely freaks out, as many of you know. He read over the legal agreement with the agency and freaked over the supplemental costs!! Thank goodness Laura (the agency person who works with prospective adoptive families) was so helpful explaining what was unlikely, what was likely and how much each amount was probably going to be.

You ask, why do you have to pay to adopt a kid who is going to cost you tens of thousands over the years??

The agency staffers, usually licensed social workers, talk with birthparents and help them decide whether they really want to put their babies up for adoption. They visit us and decide if we'd be good parents and if the home is OK. They work with freaked-out adoptive parents like us at every stage from information sessions through the first six months after we get the babies, and they host support groups, visits with birthparents and other stuff through the child's life as well. They have a legal specialist to work on the legalities of reliquishing children and adopting them. They advertise, provide training and a zillion other things.

Then there's other stuff to pay for--for our homestudy we got fingerprinted, had our background checked and get safety visits from state & county officials (fire safety officers have been very nice!). In the future, we may need tohelp pay labor & delivery costs, and will have additiional homestudy updates and possibly other expenses.

But the good news is, we got all our questions answered, from how likely we are to meet the birthparents before they decide (about 1 chance in 3, to what support the agency offers now that we're in the baby pool (monthly meetings with families, an online group, emailing the agency staff with questions), to what visits with the birthparents and our child would be like (at the agency, with a social worker there, unless we got really comfortable with the birth family)

And both Laura and the person who works with birthparents liked our letter and album!!

So now, anytime between a month and 3 years from now we could become parents!

Thank you all for your support and assurance! I'll keep you all posted.

Ralph and the Kids Came to Visit!

I really like being able to see them more than once a year--three times this year so far! It's a good thing because omigosh they are all growing and changing so fast! This time Sheila had eye makeup on--and does it pretty well. Brian got his hair cut short--I think it makes him look a little older. And Jett...the phrase "into everything" is an understatment. Fortunately Ralph headed him off before he could eat some of Ivan's dinner. (He's fond of cat food).

We had an excellent time at the playground near our townhome. Brian & Sheila spun around on the "merry-go-round"--the simple disk-with-bars-to-hold-onto kind. We put Jett on and Sheila held him. At first he looked as if he wasn't sure whether he should be enjoying it, but then he was grinning. Later he explored the various ladders (he's not into slides, only the way up) while the "big kids" spun around like crazy on the merry-go-round. Good thing it was a while after dinner.

Brian rode with me to the CVS, where Ralph got supplies--milk, water, and Crazy Cores Skittles--the last being Brian's choice of candy. So I got introduced to them (one of each flavor) as well as learning a bit about Gaia, the Internet community Brian and Sheila are on. It's mostly games, avatars and conversation. They both really enjoy it.

We hung out at the hotel because our home has too much for Jett to "discover"--from our new tire pump to the mysteries behind our air filter. Lots of good coversation till Jett finally started dropping off (after hitting every item in the room, trying to get out the door, and dribbling milk on my shirt). Then I talked quietly with Brian & Sheila. Ralph conked out shortly after Jett did--Jett had his little hand under Ralph's chin as if they'd fallen asleep mid-tussle.

So good to spend time with family!

Animal Rescue

I went out this evening to water the plants, and discovered a huge black snake tangled up in the net I've used to keep my basil safe from chewing rodents. I tried untangling him but I think I made it worse.

So, remembering that Ken used to work in the herpetology building at the Oklahoma City Zoo, I called him outside. We looked at the poor guy--s/he was really beautiful, black with an iridescent blue sheen--and went back in for heavy work gloves and scissors. He said it was "probably a rat snake" and definitely not poisonous.

With Ken holding the snake and me cutting, we freed most of the net. There was one section tightly wrapped around the snake's body. Ken said, "If we don't get that, he'll die when he sheds his skin or tries to swallow something too big to fit through. Of course, I felt awful. I'd put the net out there and I hate to see any animal die needlessly. Plus, I like snakes.

Fortunately, Ken is brave and held the snake a good long time to allow me to snip close to the snake's body. Ken was bitten a couple of times but don't worry, Mom, we put on plenty of antibiotic. Finally, I snipped the last of the netting away. The snake sensed the total freedom and writhed harder. Ken let him go and he rapidly slithered into the nearby bushes. There seemed to be a bit of a cut around the area where the tight netting had been, so we hope no infection gets in and the snake is fine.

We came back in and sure enough, it was a rat snake (see the picture).

Visitors!

Had a lovely time with Tom Z's parents Ellie and Russ. They stopped by "my" library on their drive up to New Jersey--and surprised me while I was working on the circulation desk. (Usually I'm on the information desk but we were really short of people to do checkouts.)

We had lunch at Noodles, a cafe chain that serves, well, noodles from various cuisines (Pad Thai, udon, linguine, and so on.) Caught up on the news and just had a good time after not seeing each other for two years.

an update of our latest home and garden news

I never did mention here that most of the edamame eaten by the woodchuck (I presume; may have been the squirrels but they seem mostly to enjoy digging, not eating) actually survived. Not only survived, but even the ones I pulled up by the roots sprouted new leaves! So, after some thoughts and theories I came up with plans, which you will see the results of in the following pictures. First, though, comes my First Adventure in Masonry. Oh, and a warning for the fainthearted, there's a snake too.

Just click on the first picture...

Home & Garden July 5, 2009

Finally! DC Trip with Ralph and Family

I finally got around to uploading pictures with captions from our visit to the Natural History Museum with Ralph, Kathryne and the kids.


Just double-click on the slideshow to enlarge it and read the captions.




I hope you enjoy these!

Cymru!!

Today Ken and I went to the Smithsonian Folklife Festival and, of course, focused on the Wales/Cymru section.

It was as awesome as I'd hoped. We rushed to get there in time for the Welsh male choir (can't have any kind of a Welsh cultural festival without a male choir!) This particular group, Only Men Aloud, takes the tradition and updates it with contemporary arrangements and a bit of choreography. The intent is to get younger people (both singers and audiences) interested in the tradition and to keep it going. And, of course, to make phenomenal music! We got there halfway through their first song, a traditional hymn. What a range of music they did! Hymns, traditional Welsh folk songs, "What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?," "Goldfinger," and more! They finished with "Don't Rain on My Parade"

We also heard two wonderful Welsh harpists playing on the traditional harp, which has three rows of strings. As one of the musicians said, "fiendishly difficult and complex, just like me." I leaned toward Ken and said, "like all Welshmen." So beautiful. The woman--Sian, I think her first name was, had a lovely soprano voice and sang some traditional folk songs as she played. Mostly about being unlucky in love (probably The Most Common Traditional-Song Theme) but there was a fun one about counting goats.

For lunch we each had a delicious bowl of cawl--lamb and vegetable stew that included leeks, the Welsh national vegetable. Ken also had the fantastic Welsh beer (he can't remember the name, how sad!)

Then we browsed the Welsh traditions tents: language, pottery, textiles (some beautifully woven wool blankets and lovely quilts), stonework (we watched a man chisel calligraphy-style letters in slate) and other crafts. Ken talked with a genealogist about his Grandpa Chandler, and we found his birth record and his ship manifest for his emigration to Canada online.

We bought ourselves good wool socks--made by Corgi, "by royal appointment to the Prince of Wales." Princes William and Edward wear their colorful socks (I got taupe ones with teal-green polka dots; Ken got black with teal heel, toe and top-trim)

A wonderful, wonderful day, and a great time to enjoy an ethnic heritage we share, thanks to Dad Jenkins and Mom Chandler!

[unprintable] rodents!

Some [expletive deleted] animal, probably the groundhog, ate the leaves of nearly all my edamame plants!

I am supremely ticked. Tomorrow after work I'm buying and installing a fence to protect the last couple of edamame plus my little cucumber and nasturtium seedlings.

I'm doing my best to be philosophical about this. I've lost only about $3 plus a couple of hours' work. It's not like we have to rely on our crops for our food the way subsistence farmers do.

Garden update

First off, did I mention that our Garden Pool has become the Suicide Pool for local small fauna? The count for the last month has been five birds and a squirrel. The pool got drained yesterday and today, needless to say. Now there's just enough water to keep the two-legged tadpoles alive till I can transfer them to a nearby stream.

The pool is possibly going to become a zen garden, though I'm more inclined to just make it another planting bed.

Some kind of animal--my best guess is either squirrels or the local groundhog--has been marauding in *my garden*. I'm betting on the groundhog because the carefully placed cat-hair combings did nothing to save my six newly-planted sunflower seeds or all-but-two of the sunflower seedlings from two weeks ago. Then there's four or five demolished cucumber and nasturtium seedlings.

$%)#$ nature!

The edamame are growing beautifully though; they're nearly a foot high already. I just hope the rain stops soon because now everything could really use some sun (including us humans!)

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Make a Smilebox greeting

  Here's Ivan about a day after he'd had his distemper shot. He was well enough to play with his Feline Flyer--got quite a strong grip on it, in fact!
 
 

He doesn't seem very thrilled with having his recreation preserved for posterity, does he?

Further below are a pot of bok choy seedlings growing in one of our pots, and pansies in another.
 

Garden Pictures

Our garden in late April...

Once you've clicked on the link, you can click on each picture to enlarge it.

Happy Birthday, Sheila!

Make a Smilebox greeting

Save money, live green, and be healthier too!

Great suggestions from Yahoo. I already do many of these.

Cherry Blossom Festival

So I had a "treat day" Friday before last. instead of sleeping late, doing laundry, catching up on my email and so on, I went into Washington DC and experienced the National Cherry Blossom Festival. I didn't take my camera as thunderstorms were forecast, so no pictures! Not by me anyway.

I took a "Cherry Blossom Secrets" tour. I'd already learned the basic story from the festival website, but getting extra bits of the story and visiting cherry trees all around (they're all over the city, not just at the Potomac Basin) was delightful.

The first tree was a lovely weeping cherry tree in a Smithsonian Institute garden that's modeled on a Chinese monastery's garden. The picture of the Moongate Garden on the Smithsonian's website is taken from the vantage point of that tree so you can't see its beauty. Though the rest of the garden is lovely and restful in that understated East Asian manner.

Some of the secrets: The champions of the trees were mostly women--two world travelers (one was a travel writer herself), the third was Pres. Taft's wife. All 3 had visited Japan and were captivated by the Cherry Blossom festival, especially the trees. The first set of trees, paid for by a Japanese-American doctor, turned out to be diseased and had to be burned. 18 somehow went missing, but it seems that the local National Park Service headquarters has trees of that age in the front of their building. Hmmm.... The first two trees in the second batch (carefully checked in Japan; you can imagine the political hot potato the "diseased trees" were) were planted in 1912, the day after they arrived safe and healthy. We got to see them--rather gnarled but still blossoming beautifully. Most cherry trees last about 50 years but these have been lovingly tended for decades.

Walking under the trees that surround the Potomac Basin is sooo lovely. I don't have the words to describe it: it has to be experienced. They arch over the walkway circling the basin. When I went they were past peak, but that meant petals were falling in a most romantic fashion. No wonder the trees are both a sign of first love and of the fleeting beauty of life.

And just as in Japan, people picnic under the trees. Families come by the hundreds to visit and walk. (I took photos for one family).

I didn't make the sake tasting (which sells out early) and had only a lame quasi-Japanese lunch, but I did see one of the cultural performances at the Jefferson Memorial, Rhythmaya. They're an East Indian fusion dance troupe that also gives classes. I'm pretty sure this picture is of them. You can see the Potomac Basin and the lovely cherry trees in the background. After their last dance they called up people to do it with them. Guess who was the second one up? I even went on stage, though mainly because I figured the back of the stage would be a safe place to stash my purse since there was no one to hold it. Such fun, and their teacher/leader was excellent. I was wondering how we'd do one move, but she called out "light bulb"--and yes, the way you moved your hands was just like screwing in a light bulb!

After the dance, I hit the Freer and Sackler galleries for some Asian art. The Chinese porcelain was probably my favorite, though I also enjoyed seeing a variety of images of Buddhas from around East Asia.

I definitely want to go next year. Who's coming with me?

Freedom of Religion

For the past several months I've been reading about how conservatives, usually identified as Christians, have objected to doing work in their field that goes against their religious beliefs: prescribing or handing out emergency contraception to rape survivors, providing fertility treatment for lesbian couples, and so on.

I understand how they feel. As part of my job I have to pleasantly search for and provide materials offensive to my religious and social beliefs. I do it because I believe, as a librarian and as a human being, that people are entitled to hold their own beliefs as long as they aren't hurting anyone else. In my opinion, they need to find a workplace to that is in keeping with their beliefs without denying patients or customers their rights (many of those complaining worked for a publicly-funded organization or were the only provider available in that place or time.) I don't blame them for having the courage of their convictions--I blame them for blocking others from living according to their own beliefs and needs.

"But what about their freedom of religion?" some might say.

Religious freedom. Could someone please give it to my friends and acquaintances? One couple I know were married in a Quaker ceremony much like mine and Ken's but have none of the legal benefits of marriage as our supposedly "free" government doesn't recognize it. The same is true of thousands of couples married in many United Church of Christ, Unitarian, Jewish, Pagan and other religious as well as secular ceremonies. You know what I'm talking about. I'm still trying to figure out how gender is a central concern in marriage these days. Centuries ago, marriage was for merging, holding and passing down property, and ensuring (or trying to) the parentage of children. These days families don't usually merge their property by marrying off their children. A paternity test can determine parentage. Women can keep their own money and property. Many married couples can't or don't have children. Marriage now is about love, commitment and security. Couples need to know they can be by each other's sides in the ICU. Children need to know that both their parents can pick them up at school in an emergency.

Even if you don't support same-sex marriage personally, think about this. Do you support freedom of religion? The Constitution of the United States?

The Joy of Bok Choy, or, Spring Gardening

Today we played hooky from Quaker Meeting--went out for breakfast and to the local nursery instead. Ken was rather patient while I cooed over pansies and shopped for seeds, then we got a pond skimmer (Ken said, "I could play lacrosse with this." That was it for him, though--I'll go back on my own to get more seeds and look into getting blueberry bushes!

Sooo...I cleaned and drained the pond. No dead mice this time, thank goodness, just a lot of live earthworms. I like worms, so that was cool--they all found new homes in various places in our back yard. I had to get into the pond to do the last of it; it was kinda fun, like playing in mud puddles. Refilling time after that, and I replanted the water mint (it smells really good--important because even a clean artificial pond gets some slimy bits in it.) Ken set up our solar pond fountain and we floated that up on top.

While the pond was draining I planted bok choy in a couple of prime locations. It's an early summer plant (bok choy tends to wilt around late June in Maryland) so this was a good time to plant. In about a month I'll plant cucumbers and basil, and possibly green peppers.

I flipped through an organic-gardening book and found some nice flowering plants to keep away bugs. So my cucumbers will be growing amidst nasturtiums! I've got the garden pretty much plotted out on paper now. Next step: set up a compost pile!

In case you were all wondering...

What librarians do after they close the library at night...

Things that make me happy

Rich came to our home last week. He insisted on a tour of the yard before it got dark and was duly impressed. He'd also met Ivan, who actually walked up and introduced himself (and got petted.) Ivan usually stays a few feet away from new people, except for persons he likes right away (like Ms. Stasa, my primary rival). Rich brought the best housewarming gifts: Trader Joe's Low-Fat Cats (original flavor) Trader Joe's One-Pound-Plus dark chocolate bar, and kitty snacks for Ivan.
We went to Royal Jade where we ate great Chinese food and had a wonderful time catching up!

Last Saturday I had my appointment with the wonderful Dr. S, whose treatments have been improving Ken's health over the past six months. Good news--he's just about certain I don't have Lyme! I do have a systemic yeast infection, though, so I'm taking meds for that. No major side effects so far, except for some digestive stuff that isn't as bad as an IBS attack, so I'm cutting back to 1/2 dose as he suggested in such a case. Between that medicine and adrenal supplements (evidently my adrenal glands sorta shut down because of all the stress I've had for so many years (my first marriage, corporate b.s., job losses, etc.) I have more energy and am happier already.

I was off today because I'm working Saturday and got some errands done. Finished all the paperwork to roll over my retirement from my old library job, did some enjoyable grocery shopping at (all together now:) Trader Joe's, and bought some beautiful pansy plants on sale at Home Depot. Then I unpacked the groceries and planted the pansies in pots all over the lawn. Some are purple, some purple-and-yellow, some white-and purple. Lovely--and I discovered that no less than 6 of my narcissus bulbs came up! Two have buds already. I did plant about 18 bulbs, but the local vermin dug them up and spirited them away for nefarious purposes. I bought narcissus specifically because rodents (mice, squirrels, voles, etc.) don't eat them. Apparently they play some obscure kind of ballgame with them and I've supplied the Final Four of the Greenbelt Rodentia Conference. Or maybe they poison their enemies with them, I don't know. Maybe little CSI or NCIS rodents will show up soon to investigate. I'd like to see a vole in black pigtails and Goth-wear...

Health update

I went to the wonderful doctor Ken's been going to for treatment of his long-term Lyme and the rest of his complex medical situation. Good news: He's just about certain I don't have Lyme disease! I do have significant yeast infection, so I'm on fluconazole to start knocking that out. I also have all the symptoms of low adrenal function so I'm taking supplements to help out my adrenal glands. I am feeling a bit more energetic, despite a minor respiratory infection. Which, by the way, is having little effect except making me a bit tired--and my voice is just about shot. Fortunately I was at work only in the morning, when we weren't open, and at a workshop in the afternoon, so I didn't have to talk a lot.

We'll see if I can speak well enough to work on the desk tomorrow. At least it would keep me from talking too loud (yes, I'm a librarian who has to be "shushed"!)

Life is a movie musical

We watched Oklahoma! tonight on TV. Sang together on a lot of the songs, "Let people say we're in love..." "All or Nuthin'" and commented on everything from the ballet sequence to the shivaree (no wonder Ken wouldn't tell anyone where we spent our wedding night!)

Ivan watched too...he was fascinated with the ballet sequence and actually reached up to try and grab "Laurey" at one point.

We're still waiting on the adoption homestudy...have to talk to a new social worker (our wonderful Bev was "phased out," sadly) about my new job.

Work's very busy for both of us. Ken's still in charge a lot. And oh, yes, we did OK with the snowstorm. It's one of the few things that made people drive sensibly on the Beltway.

It's cold tonight! I'm very glad we have the space heater, and I have my cozy quilted full-body wrap. It's like that thing they advertise on TV only warmer.

Pictures of our visit with Ralph and the kids!!

As promised...

Click here for pictures and a video. When you get to the Picasa site, just click on "Slideshow" near the top at the left. Then click on the right-pointing arrow under the first picture to see full-size pictures, plus a full-sound video with all of us (including Jett banging on the air filter!) Yes, I took the video ::bows::

We had a great time, giving late Christmas presents to Ralph and the kids (the iTunes cards were a big hit), playing with Jett (who can walk now--and get into all kinds of things), and going to the Silver Diner (a favorite of both families--they have one near their home). Brian, Sheila and I also went to the playground, where I got dizzy on the self-propelled merry-go-round and I found out they're both Fullmetal Alchemist fans!

My numbers...

Thanks to Tom, I just learned that I have my own numbers!!

Hey, how can you have an infinitely countable set? Isn't that an oxymoron? Tom? Dr. Amy?

Latest news

My older younger brother came to visit today with the kids. Awesome from beginning to end--even with Jett screeching. Yes, there will be pictures in my next post. And possibly a video.

Hey, sibling unit with offspring, OK if I put the vid of you and the kids on Youtube? Not like anyone besides family is likely to see it except for Mark and maybe one of the teens from my anime club who's a Youtube friend of mine (she makes great anime music videos)

Also, I'm on Facebook, finally.

Went to dance class (tango & salsa) tonight--and spotted a flyer for Scottish Folk Dancing on Tuesday nights! (I can hear Stasa squealing with happiness from three time zones away!) I work every other Tuesday but it's a drop-in class each week.

Protecting families

You might know some of these families that need our support. Not money or a job or a green card, just the right to be a family. Some have kids, some don't. They're firefighters, librarians, professors, and store clerks.


"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

They're not asking to be married in your church; just in a court so they can pick up their kids when they're sick at school and visit their spouse in the ICU if, heaven forbid, they end up in there.

I'm not asking you to sign the petition, or even watch the entire video. Just to reflect a moment about what "marriage" means to you, and what it would mean to them.

Still unpacking and getting settled

Ken has been going through his boxes and boxes (and boxes...) of books, sorting out the ones that should be thrown out, the ones he wants, and the ones that can be donated. After I bring boxes to work tomorrow, we will have donated 5 boxes to my new library system's book sale. Our bookcases (and we have a lot) are very nearly full. I unpacked most of the rest of my books and organized them, and we have about 1 shelf left--one low shelf suitable for paperbacks.

This afternoon we took 2 library books back to my old library system. I could let my own new branch send them to Annapolis, but I know from patrons' experience that interlibrary returns can go astray. Besides, it was a chance to chat with some old colleagues (Poor Ken was lost sometimes amidst the library-ese and talk of internal politics). Ken wanted to go to Hana, our favorite Japanese restaurant, and since it was library-closing time, I said, "Why don't I call Mathew and see if he wants to meet us?" He usually works Sundays at a library near Hana. We dropped in at "his" branch and yes, he was there. The poor guy was in charge and had had a rough day, so Japanese food with friends was most welcome. The three of us had a great time and utterly delicious food.

And when we got home and loaded the donation books in the car...the night was so clear we could see *stars*. We can't usually, as close to Washington DC as we are.

Finally, about my new job!

It's been three weeks since I started my new job as head children's librarian. I've been sick most of the time, argh! but I love it.

I liked my supervisor right away, and got a warm welcome from staff who'd met me before at the parade and holiday party as well as a couple I hadn't met yet. Also there was a welcome sign and chocolates for me in the kitchen!


I don't have my own computer, but I do have a window desk (with a view of our parking lot, but there are nice trees across the street) and lots of desk space. And we have a storytime *room* not a mere closet! It's a mess, though, so re-organizing it is one of our short-term plans.

I got thrown into dealing with budgets right away, something I never really dealt with at my old job. Trying to spend money in the most useful ways in three days is not easy! But we should get a good teen program and lots of children's program supplies out of it.

The catalog system is the same as the older version we'd had at my previous job, which helped a lot. But the library layout is complex and confusing and of course the policies are all different! DVDs check out for 7 days, not 3; nonfiction DVDs and videos are mixed in with the books; The Lord of the Rings is in the *children's* section, and...the confusion just goes on.

But reference questions don't change, the online databases are the same, and (sadly) there are still difficult patrons and computer problems. Lots of computer problems. Fortunately, I hit it off withe computer/equipment guy, who is a fellow statistical outlier (as my husband would say) and not easy for most (mainstream) people to get along with.

My fellow children's staffers are both good people, though very different from each other (and occasionally butting heads, but that's normal). They both work hard, which is great--few things are worse than having a slacker on the staff.

What it means to be head children's librarian: I do reference work (answering questions) for adults, teens and kids, but do programs and deal with signs, displays and collections (weeding books and asking for new ones) only for the children's areas. I can get involved with teen programming too--the teen librarian and I have been talking about that.

I only hope I can get over these respiratory infections! I'm on my second set of antibiotics--this one for a mycoplasma infection. (Mycoplasma are bigger than a virus, smaller than a bacteria.) Yes, I bought stuff with live acidophilus cultures at the local health food store--and all kinds of healthy prepared food, including soup!